Today was a very challenging and yet very rewarding day for me. Without going into too much detail, I lost a lot of coworkers today due to layoffs. With this type of reduction in work force, you tend to have survivors guilt. This is not my first rodeo. With being with this same company for almost 24 years, it is unfortunate that I have been a part of (and survived) double digit layoffs. It is never easy. It is hurtful. It always makes you question “WHY ME” but then at the same time “THANK GOD”. The type of stress that this causes is a lot to handle. I’m not very good at stress. Typically, I would either shut down for the day and do nothing out of spite and/or lash out at those closest to me.

Due to the launch of last week, I couldn’t do my work strike and no one was home for me to lash out. I did a little of a pity party, but after work I binged (for a hot minute) The Good Wife (excellent show), I headed downstairs to hit the treadmill (it was raining). Rain sucks and I dislike the treadmill. But I made the best of it. AND, yes AND, I RAN. Not a lot, don’t get all excited, but I RAN for almost 5 minutes at 5MPH (I have a large ass and I’m proud). 2 miles and of the 37.40, almost 5 min was running/jogging/not walking. I’m moving up in the world.

And I hate to say it, this constant exercise is helping with my mental health. There really is something to be said about exercising being positive to your mental health. Almost 2 weeks in and I didn’t kill anyone, yell at anyone, was still able to function and still smile.

I’m taking today as bad, but also good. Positive good.

Tomorrow, I’m going to weigh myself just to see, and may possibly run a little on my walk. Who knows?