I was actually in bed tonight at 9:50. An unbelievable feat for a Sunday night. As I’m lying there, my mind started to wander. I reached over to my phone and felt the need to get this out there and out of my head.

I have a fucking amazing tribe. My tribe is mixed with blood and non blood. A cohesive mix of amazing humans that I have the ultimate pleasure of knowing.

A-The timid joker. This lady has been my love since the moment I met her. So full of life, so loud and yet so timid. She is the most witty when she is uncomfortable and the most honest when she is humble. She doesn’t see herself clearly and I wish I could follow her around with a mirror so she could see her the way I see her. She is strong and honest. She challenges me on the hour and I challenge myself to give her a response.

B-The blood. This one doesn’t know her worth. She is so fucking smart but gets in her way to do the right thing. I didn’t know I needed her until she came into my life. I want her to know she can find her way on her own if she just believes in herself and uses her voice. If she is who she should be then she doesn’t need to be anyone else but her. I like to love this one.

C-The whisperer. This lady is the strongest human I know. She doesn’t even understand how strong she is at all. Her strength and humble beliefs make her honest to a fault. She doesn’t realize that her smile and laugh make me whole. Loyalty is her middle name and I would tear anyone down that says otherwise.

D-Superwoman. People come into your life all the time. But when your soul sees its match in someone else, there is a bond that is formed that will never break. This woman does it all and has no shame in being honest. She is real. She is beautiful. She has the most kind heart. This one I will fight for until forever. She is my match and the ying to my yang. I can just be in her presence and I am content.

E. This one has so many names that I cannot just use one. Ok fine. Plant lady. She does everything for everyone and knows who she is. She laughs with me and cries with me. She has so many talents that I wish I had just a sliver of what she can do. She keeps me whole by showing me new things. Her love radiates off of her and makes everything grow.

F. The oldest. The oldest is who I always wanted to be. It’s hard to have a role model that you didn’t know you had. Hard to explain but this one does what I wish I could. She has the patience of a saint but also the biggest heart. She isn’t afraid of saying what she thinks but never offends anyone when she says it. She is loved.

G. The loud one. How can the quietest be the loudest? It’s possible. This one is. The first time I met her I hated her. I hated her because she was who I wished I could be. This one has so much drive that I cannot comprehend how she does it. I’m envious. I always have been. When she was at her lowest, she was the strongest I’ve ever seen.

H-Mom. Due to our lives, I didn’t see mom very much since I was 16. I don’t need to share the story here, but in reality, I physically didn’t spend a lot of time with her. Most of my adult relationship with her was over the phone. This is both good and bad. But it was ours. I would tell her some stuff, make her laugh most of the time, and call her for advice (a lot). I miss this the most. I find myself talking to her in my head a lot now that she’s gone.

These women are so loved by me. I love them all for their uniqueness, differences, courage, beauty and complexity. I learn from them, even if I don’t talk to them everyday. I hope someday they read this (or are reading it now).