You know those memes where they compare people doing one thing vs reality? Like, “This is how I think I look when I dance vs how I really look” and there is a beautiful, graceful dancer (how they think they look), change to a gorilla in a tutu rolling around (how they really look)? You know the ones. Yeah, this was totally me on my walk tonight. Totally and unashamed ME. Not even the little bit embarrassed.

Before I get to tonight’s amusement, let’s get down to the facts. Today, I made my walk my bitch. I owned it tonight bruh! I walked by myself and cranked the tunes! Holy Mama, I was hauling ass! Did the 2 miles in…drum roll….34 min and 58 seconds. KMA walk!! I was crushing my pace, felt really good and focused on my stride. (Geez, now I’m sounding like a professional walker over here.) I’m blaming the music.

During said walk, I took a different route. This route took me in more open places and exposed me to the real world; compared to my in the neighborhood existing route. I was on a major road, on the sidewalk, but there were more people driving by me. (See how I’m setting the scene for the amusement?)

Now that the visual is set, picture me, 5ft 9.5, blonde, slimming down with each step, busty, junk in the trunk, air pods are in my ears, wearing a green shirt and grey capris. You see me walking my path. My lips are moving so you know I’m listening to music. I’m also smiling, cause I’m happy, (got the visual yet?)

Ok—so I’m on this new path and I’m on the sidewalk. I’m pretty much alone. Then enter one of my songs…on my playlist…and this girl starts to belt out the lyrics. You know that I’m flying fast in my walking. I’m in my own world. I’m at the part of the song that I only know the words to (I usually make up my own lyrics) and I’m belting the words. Out loud. Why the hell not right? No one is around me. The song isn’t a very “appropriate” song to many out there. In fact, it’s a rap type song…but I’m crushing my singing. Like Pitch Perfect crushed it. Song ends..there is no more music..and I hear it. Yes, in between songs I hear a human cough. The kind of cough you hear when someone is either trying to cover a laugh or they cough to try and get your attention. Nonchalantly I turn around and there is a dude, walking his dog, about 10 ft behind me. This dude has a shit eatin grin on his face. I’m sure he recognized the song I was singing and he just enjoyed the most memorable version of it, LIVE! **For those that want to review the song, it is Graduation by Juice WRLD/Benny Blanco. I know the chorus and the lyrics that I only know start at 38 seconds into the song…yeah listen to that and you will get the humor in what I was belting out loud.

Most people would be embarrassed by this situation. Not me folks. Nope. This was my fucking moment and I owned it! Sure did. I smiled at the dude and gave him the good ole MN two finger salute and just kept on dominating the walk. Kept marching on with my awesome walking form!

I know what you might be thinking, actually I don’t. But if I were to assume I knew, I would guess that you would think that nothing else could happen on the walk. Oh but you would be wrong. You see, 1/2 mile after the dude encounter, another amazing song came on the playlist. Ed Sheeran Shivers. Somehow, I have it in my head that I will learn how to line dance (yes country line dance) to this song. It’s like all the rage right now. I was stuck in Tik Tok hell one time and saw like 70 videos on it. I’m a slow learner and I’m obsessed to learn this dance. That way when I’m at a country bar some time, and this song comes on, (or like a wedding), I can jump up and do the dance. So yeah, I’ve been practicing.

When this song came on the list, this girl was doing a make shift walk and dance (practicing) to the song. It was very graceful and let me tell you, I think I also crushed it. When the song was just ending and I finished my final kick/slide/side step, someone I knew drove by. Let me back up. I noticed the person when I finished. This means that they saw me do my routine about 20 seconds before I noticed them. They noticed me waaaay before I noticed them. Cause this lady was a laughing. She waved and I did the same with a MN 2 finger salute! I’m truly an amazing soul.

I have to remember the cardinal in my tree out front today. Just hanging out and singing and wanting to get laid. Can’t forget that. My Mama is with me and would be fucking rolling in tears, laughing at the walking adventure tonight.