I feel like I’m on overload and don’t know when it will end. With the kid graduating from High School, his graduation party, wondering if he is going to go to State for Golf, getting EVERYTHING ready for all the above, along with the anxiety and worry, I’M ON OVERLOAD! I’ve taken the necessary self-precautions to try and keep my shit under control, but it is a creeping!! Sometimes, doing all the preparing doesn’t really relieve you from the actual anxiety of pulling everything off. I will survive. I know I will. I have my tribe man.

Due to all the party preparation, yesterday (Wednesday), I laid a crap ton of mulch. For any of you that have done this, this is quite the production. A lot of work. THIS was my walk. I had the Apple watch on and just for laying mulch, this girl put in over 3 miles walking. My arms and wrists and shoulders and back and legs hurt SOOO bad after this, I couldn’t even type. Being over 40 sucks sometimes cause lord, do you feel all the things in the body!

Today, today was just as busy. I had a delayed coffee date with one of my tribe, then did some work and dealt with all the anxiety that comes with waiting to see how your kid performs. I was getting text updates from the Hubbie from 9-1. I was trying to keep my mind occupied and try and work, but man, it was hard. I finally got the call at 1 from the Hubbie and he told me the kid made it!! I then started bawling and was like, HOLY S**T!! He actually did it! NO words to express how fucking proud I was at that moment. With his shoulder injury this past winter, we invested a lot of time and energy (and $) to ensure that he could heal as best he could. To recover. To fulfill this moment. It was all worth it. EVERY SECOND.

This waiting period, of course, put me behind schedule with my mile long to do list. So not only was I dealing with the rush of emotions, but now I’m facing the anxiety of being behind. I got the panic. I also put myself down. “Why the hell do you make a list if you don’t stick to it?” You know the drill. BUT IT’S OK. Everything will get done that needs to get done.

I started on the list and kept going. Did all the errands, crossed some cleaning items off the list, watched the Timber Puppies lose and here it is, 11:31PM. I didn’t walk. I didn’t do the official walk. But I did walk. Officially at the end of the day, looking at my rings on my watch, almost 4 miles. I feel better that some things got done and I am blogging, so that is something also. Not going to look ahead to tomorrow, cause I’m saying there is a chance, but tomorrow is the last day to get shit done for the party on Saturday. There is always a chance!