Yup, yesterday was my birthday! I turned 46. Birthdays are important to me and have always been that way. My Mama always, and I mean ALWAYS, made me feel like the most important person on my day. This has carried with me every year and I do push it.

Yesterday was my first birthday without her…

It wasn’t easy. I had a lot of love sent to me, I did not feel alone. My sister sent me Tulips, which were her favorite flower. I didn’t cry. I have realized that there is going to be a hole in my heart that is always going to be. Just a shame that I’m never going to answer her call on my birthday where she sings to me.

To be true to myself, I did walk yesterday. But I didn’t post because I was busy preparing for game night with my friends (thank you hubbie for planning.)

Today I didn’t do much but did walk. The daughter did walk with me and between yesterday and today, the miles are less than 20 minutes each. Proud to say, they are averaging now at about 19:30. Look at me being all fast and wicked.

I am sitting in my office, in my home, typing this up on my computer. I have surrounded myself with pictures either of Mom or pictures or poems that she took or had on her wall, or of France. She is with me and I’m going to be ok.

Surround yourself with what makes your grief bearable…that’s what I’m learning. Challenging myself is just allowing me an outlet.