I am gonna try a new tool or technique Now hear me out on this…Therapy is wonderful, I like it, I’m a big fan. I think it works and I’m a huge advocate for it. The more that I “test” out some therapy apps and write my reviews of them, the more I’m realizing some things. Therapy is very subjective and offers you a LOT of tools to use in your arsenal of dealing with whatever it is you are dealing with in your life. To help you heal relating to something. I’ve said a few times on here that I’ve learned this or that or heard something be said a different way. All of it good, all of it positive, all to help you. Therapy also is subjective. I’m not saying it is horseshit, but it is subjective. There are some down sides to it, so I’m not naive to that either. At the end of the day, therapy can be a crap shoot, but only if you aren’t willing and able to try to use the tools or techniques given to you.

That is what is leading me to the Worry List, which I will address at the end of this post. But first things first, let me document today’s adventure. I did not walk this morning, but it wasn’t for not getting up. I got up at 6 and didn’t hit snooze once. I was roaring to go and found out my walking buddy couldn’t walk with me. Of course I can walk alone, but there was absolutely no motivation for me to walk by myself this morning, so I didn’t. I sat and read a book and drank coffee. I did, however, walk later this afternoon and was sweating my dick off for the 3 miles. Took me an hour because I may have lingered a little too long in a few places in the shade. I have no complaints but will for sure use today as an incentive to go for the walk tomorrow morning. (Plus the book is done).

Ok, now that the business is out of the way, now onto the new addition to this blog. In one of my reviews, I was asked to review a group therapy app. These sessions were to help me deal with a narcissist in my life (I have 2). Not to give it all away, but I’m a huge fan of this app and I have learned so fucking much when relating to a narcissist and having a relationship with one, along with being codependent. In one of these sessions, we were encouraged to write down what we worry about. Seems odd right? Yeah, I agree. I’m like, I know I worry all day everyday, why the hell do I need to write this shit down? I can spew this off at the drop of a hat if asked. But that isn’t the point of this technique, so I learned. Since I do have an open mind and I do want to heal (and get everything out of therapy that I can get), I’m going to try it. I’m going to write it down here. Be warned, it’s coming next, so feel free to stop reading if you don’t wanna read it. I will be doing a worry list whenever I feel like posting it, (if I feel that it helps) but for sure it will be this entire week 🙂

Worry list 7/9/24

-Me-If I don’t go walking this morning, will it make me have a shitty day? I have a lot of calls today and I don’t want to be cranky. I didn’t text people back that texted me last week; or Facebooked me- I have to get back to them. I don’t want them to be upset. I’m going to have to apologize. I just haven’t felt like responding to everyone and some I truly forgot about them texting me. I need to schedule some appointments today so I don’t forget

-Sister-What is she going to do? I know she just got into her new job and they were finally able to get ahead and not stress. Is he going to be able to find a job in time? She needs to do the right thing

-Hubbie-Why does he worry about leaving me alone and going golfing? Of course he can go to the camper and have fun, I’ll be ok. Where is this guilt coming from? I’m going to take him on a date tonight and we are going to have fun, I hope he likes the idea.

-Daughter-I hope she can figure out what is wrong with her hand-she doesn’t need this kind of stress. I hope she knows how much I love her and how proud I am of her

-Work-Why the hell do I give a crap if you don’t understand what I’m asking? It doesn’t matter in the end, you are going to do what you want to do. I’m just a peon and a grunt, so it doesn’t matter. I have so much fucking work to get done in the next few days and these additional calls aren’t fucking helping because they are pointless. I get nagged to do this and then do that, but why aren’t you finishing this? I hope I get an interview this week with this other company.

-Son-He seems stressed about going to school and he won’t talk to me. He acts like he is fine but I feel it in my gut that he is not. I don’t know how to get him to talk to me. I know that if he does, we can talk through his anxiety. He is going to do fine but he needs to get it out. When will he talk to me? He needs to get his graduation thank you cards done this week, does he know this?

-Coffee friend-Does she know how much I love her? She is so strong and I want her to know important she is to me. I don’t want her to lose her working high and she still loves her job tomorrow

-Plant lady-She isn’t feeling well and I don’t know what is causing it. She has to be ok. She is strong and she has the biggest heart. She just wants to do good and be creative at the same time. Why doesn’t she call me to ask me for a ride? Doesn’t she know that she would do that for me, so why wouldn’t I do that for her? She doesn’t know she is a fantastic mother. I’m going to bring her flowers. I don’t know how to show her that I care but also don’t want to be over bearing. I don’t think she likes me as much as I like her.